For those who don’t know who I am, my name is Kate and I’m a CBT therapist. Before I start, I must say I am definitely not a comedian, however life or should I say cancer and the menopause, has thrown a fair share of punchlines my way. So
let’s dive into my menopause journey and how it weaved itself intricately with my unexpected breast cancer diagnosis, teaching me resilience and laughter along the way.
I was 39, enjoying the vibrant chaos of life as a wife, mum of a 10 year old and a dog mum! In short, I received a call from my doctor advising me to have my ovaries removed. This was due to a family history of breast cancer looming over me like an ominous cloud. Looking for the positives, and throwing in the mix my dark sense of humour, I didn’t want any more children and I didn’t need to think about contraception, win win! Well that’s what I thought!
Now, if you think “surgical menopause” sounds like a trendy new dance move, let me tell you, it’s more of a chaotic two-step with hot flashes, exhaustion and mood swings as the headliners. Who knew I’d be sweating like I’d just run a marathon whilst sitting on my couch, eating chocolate? It was as though the jolly green giant himself grabbed me and threw me into hormonal mayhem. Apparently I was gaining a brighter healthier future, however it felt like I lost everything, my identity and my passion for life, I became a former shadow of myself!
To add some extra sparkly sprinkles of chaos to my menopause journey (because, let’s be honest, who needs just a sprinkle when you can have a full-on explosion of hormonal mayhem?), I found myself at a loss with advice and guidance everywhere I turned. It was like trying to navigate a maze without a map, with everyone offering a different route and no one seemed to know the right way out. I felt alone, overwhelmed, exhausted and confused.
In a moment of sheer determination, I decided to take charge of my menopause journey and get my life back on track. I needed to take control of my life physically and mentally before it took control of me! I started researching treatment for the menopause, a simple Google search, quickly discovering a world of confusion. It was like being overwhelmed in an all-you-can-eat buffet where every dish was labelled, “Try me, but good luck!”. But with a bit of perseverance (and a lot of coffee and a few gins!), I found a registered menopause specialist in London, thanks to the British Menopause Society. And boy, was it worth it! The support I received was like finding that perfect pair of stretchy pants, relief, comfort, and a lot of “thank goodness I found you!” moments.
Fast forward a few years, and I was managing what felt like a decent balance in life, until life decided to spice things up
again. I started losing weight and feeling unwell. “Ah, just life throwing that dreaded ‘shitty stick’ my way”. But this time, it was more serious than a pesky twig in the path of my happiness; I discovered a lump that led to a diagnosis of Stage 1 Breast Cancer. Talk about plot twists!
So I find myself, in the midst of my menopause journey, with the added exotic flourish of a cancer diagnosis. Delightful, right? Oh, and just for added fun, I was told I could no longer take HRT. As one might imagine, my first reaction was like a deer caught in headlights: “Wait, what do you mean no HRT? You’re kidding right?”.
But in that moment of overwhelming fear, I had to take a step back and remind myself: let’s focus on what truly
matters for my treatment and recovery. Yes, I was now acutely aware of the absence of hormones (it felt like someone snatched my happy juice away), but the journey was no longer about that.
So, why am I sharing my journey with you? I want to shout from the rooftops, that It’s okay not to be okay, things happen and the more we talk, share and relate helps a little to normalise the mayhem you go through. It was a lonely path for me and it doesn’t need to be. Remember, it’s okay to laugh at the darkness and find light in the camaraderie we share through our struggles.
To all the wonderful women and anyone else navigating life’s unpredictable rollercoaster, let’s lift our coffee mugs (fill
with whatever your heart desires) and toast to resilience, shared experiences, and the beauty of finding humour amidst the chaos. We may not have control over our bodies, but we certainly have a say in how we respond to life’s curveballs.
With warmth, empathy, and a sprinkle of humour,
Kate, your dead ‘ard therapist 💖
